Conflict

What role does conflict play in your life, in your business? How prevalent do you see it? We each have our own story and approach to conflict. When you find yourself in conflict, which word most closely describes your approach, discussion or a discourse? In my opinion…..

Business is a game of conflict. We call it competition. To the extent that we compete, we engage in conflict.
Have you been trained for conflict resolution? In my training in conflict management as part of my experience with Price Waterhouse, I was sent to Harvard to prepare to work with 3 clients that were in litigation as I started my work there. I was amazed to see the method taught closely resembled the pattern for negotiation taught with my first employer NCR as part of their 3 years Sales training program.

The foundation to resolve conflict is to actively listen and align. The key to consistently find alignment is listen and discussion. Discussion requires us to listen and also to open up. Otherwise our discussion is really a discourse. When thinking about conflict are we fist to fist? At what point can we open our fist? If we open, how might the other party react? What is your story? How do you react when conflict erupts? Engage it, put it out, avoid it, passive/aggressive? At what point does it become the Elephant in the room?

The reason we avoid, we don’t engage is our core need, our internal fear that we may not be viewed as competent, our point of view may not be accepted, we may not be heard. What if you could learn to consistently confront and negotiate from a position of Trust? Is it possible when heard fully, the other party is seeking to meet their needs? It is about them, not you? We will learn to engage and confront conflict. How might you feel to have the confidence to confront and be effective in this new skill? How might you gain new relationships, new business, and new levels of success?

The reality of human relationship is we all bring our own Story to the relationship. That Story influences our Beliefs, Values, Points of View and our version of Truth. Our Story influences our ability to trust. The same is true for those engaging us in conflict, in completion, in negotiation.

We will teach an effective method to engage conflict and make it our pattern of success.
We will listen and learn what they are seeking, their objective, desired result. This is the What. We will inquire How they hope to attain what they are seeking, attain their objective, desired result. This is the How. We will inquire Why the What and How is important. We will seek to understand their story. Then after we inquire and listen, we will share ours. We will explain our What, our How and our Why. We will establish a new mutual knowledge of What, How and Why. This becomes a new shared Truth. From this point we seek to align. We negotiate. How can we Win – Win?